15 December 2011
"...that laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis." -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
Throughout today's napalming of the Pitt program and fan base by Todd Graham, a used car salesmen less liked than those annoying guys that do the "9020" commercials, we experienced grief and the five stages associated with it:
Denial - "Oh no, he didn't?"
Anger - "Bastard!"
Bargaining - "I'll give anything for another mulligan on this hire!"
Depression - "Rushel Shell and Chad Voytik are going to decommit"
Acceptance - "He is who we thought he is"
Which brings us to laughter. What else can we do? Might as well laugh about it...while taking shots at our former head coach. So here we go...
This idea comes to us from TFW Joe...
We always said that Todd Graham reminded us of President George W. Bush. Who knew this photo of President Bush giving the ASU "pitchfork" was a sign of things to come...
Lastly, we were able to get a hold of Todd Graham's prepared notes for his Arizona State press conference earlier today and were shocked...
I want to have my family come up. [Introduce family]. [Ramble on about importance of family].
I can't tell you how exciting it is to be a part of a dynamic leadership, meeting [President/Chancellor] and [Athletic Director].
It's such an honor for me to be sitting here and taking over the program that [Previous Coach] built. This is a dream come true, walking through the halls of [stadium name]. I'm excited. I'm excited where this program is. I'm excited about the future.
How will we play [Offense/Defense]? How about let's play it like [Famous Former Players] played it. That's how we're going to do it.What's it going to look like? Well, obviously our offense is going to be high octane, it's going to be quick striking, explosive. Our whole deal is about explosive plays. I like to see a ball thrown down the field. People want to come and they want to watch games and I don't want you sitting in your seat. I want you standing up at [stadium name], and how you do that is you have explosive plays. [Ramble on somemore. Mention "high octane" 3 times, "explosive" atleast twice].
Our goals as a program is that we are going to first and foremost bring out the best in every single person's character that's involved in our program. I believe that that is the key component to winning and winning every day. [Ramble on about character and integrity]. That's what our program is all about, and the "[School Name] Way" is what you'll hear me talking about a lot, and that speaks to our goals as a program.
I think perception is reality, and we start the perception today that we're going to build a championship program. We're going to win [Conference Name] championships, we are going to win [BCS Bowl] championships and ultimately the National Championship.
And I leave you with this...Todd Graham's Wikipedia page from earlier today (h/t @KegsnEggs)
So now what? We wait and see who the 6th head coach (including interim coaches) in the last 13 months is...and we will just laugh in the mean time.
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